Our New Nephew

We welcome our newest nephew PAUL WILLIAM CANLAS MILBURY!

Born July 30th

7 lbs. 8 oz.

19.5 in.

Tito Carl and Tita Jv loves you!

It's finally here

As you all know, I participated in the April Commencement Exercises at BYU... but I don't officially graduate until June. After all is said and done, my Masters degree is now official! My diploma arrived in the mail on Friday and is now hanging on the wall like Carl's MS diploma from Minot State University. 

It's now official, and all the requirements are now met. I am "credential" ready to start my doctorate in August - with a huge belly, and a lot of dreams, and a supportive husband who believes I am statistics genius to make things a lot better!

Happy Birthday, Rockstar!

We celebrated Carl's 2xth birthday and he had a blast. His birthday weekend was filled with things that he loves the most. We planned for a temple session at the Salt Lake Temple on Saturday the 14th, which turned out to be a pretty interesting plan. It was time for us to renew our temple recommends and we were lucky to get an appointment in time for Carl's birthday. The Provo Temple is closed for maintenance for the whole of July. We could have planned to attend the next closest temple, which is the Mt. Timpanogos Temple in American Fork, but Carl decided he wanted to attend the one in Salt Lake. So we woke up early, and left Provo at around 9am. As we drove in to park under the conference center, the signage read: SALT LAKE TEMPLE CLOSED. 

Great. We didn't know. And we didn't check the temple's schedule either. We knew temples close once in a while for certain things, but, we didn't expect it would be closed this time of year. Anyway. We had three temples to choose from (the joys of living in Utah) - Jordan River in West Joardan, Draper, and Oquirrh Mountain in South Jordan. But by the time we'll get there, and then the two hours of session, both Carl and I (and the little baby I need to keep fed) will be cranky hungry people. So we decided to have lunch early. When we are in the Salt Lake area, a meal at L&L is a must - but they don't open until 11am and it was only 10:15. I suggested we walk around the mall first and check the Apple store (I thought I'd convince Carl to finally get a Mac, since he gifted me an iPad for my graduation and he almost bought one last Christmas), but Carl was not exactly in the mood to drive around (and get a Mac). From the corner of his eye he sighted Jiffy Lube and so Carl's car got pampered. Well, Jiffy Lube indeed stands for its name and our car's pampering was done in a JIFFY. So we spent another 30 minutes at a nearby Starbucks waiting for L&L to open. We were getting hungry - but we know L&L is worth the drive and the wait. We were the first customers - Carl devoured his chicken katsu and I feasted on my bbq ribs. 

I called the Jordan River Temple and made sure they were open. We made a quick trip to the Asian market in Sandy to pick up some stuff for Carl's birthday dinner the next day.We headed to the Jordan River Temple, and feasted on the amazing spirit of the Lord. All our frustrations were gone and we both felt wonderful. It was an early afternoon session (around the time I usually take my naps), and I won't deny I've dozed off a couple of times - but it was an edifying experience none the less. It was a rainy and windy and cloudy day - but it was beautiful. We headed home at around 4pm, and we thought of visiting Jasmine and her family but it turned out they were having the day out as well. So we headed home to Provo. Carl got a haircut, we took a nap (I know, nap time at 5pm) when we got home, then I started on Carl's cake after dinner.

Carl wanted a guitar cake this year. As you know, he's fallen back in love with music and playing the guitar. I didn't have enough time to buy a guitar cake mold online, and buying one anyway is sort of a waste of money because I probably won't be using it again for quite some time. So I decided to "sculpt" one. Good thing I scaled it small - small enough that I didn't need to work on it for more than 3 hours. If I wasn't pregnant, I'd conquer any size cake - but I just don't have the stamina to ice cakes and roll fondant this time. Carl shared my concerns and he asked for a small cake - so nice of him! So I only used one 13x9 rectangular cake, and I didn't layer. I also didn't use much fondant, and so rolling wasn't much of a pain. I worked on it for about 2 1/2 hours and even then I was exhausted. But Carl loved it - it was his perfect birthday bass guitar cake!

When the cake was done, I exiled Carl in the bedroom and was not allowed to see my other preparations. I took out his gifts and placed them beside his cake, and placed his happy birthday banner on the wall. I thought of getting a pinata (hahaha) but then I changed my mind. We'll do it next year - not for him, but for the baby. When it was time for his to see the surprise, he came out, was SURPRISED, blew his candle, and we went to bed! We were both exhausted, and so we decided to open his gifts the day after, his actual birthday, during birthday breakfast.

For breakfast, I made scrambled eggs and french toast. He opened his gifts and he loved them. We called his family and he talked to them while I prepared some stuff for lunch before we headed to church. We went to church, and Carl went home after sacrament because Jasmine's family was joining us for lunch. I had to stay in church to make sure there was someone in the chapel library, and then went home. Jasmine, Scott, and ate Keana arrived at around 11:30 and Keana was so excited holding up a little balloon tied to a small gift bag for Uncle Carl! We had a hearty lunch, and Carl blew candles again, this time with Keana. Keana loved blowing candles, we probably did it 3 times.

Jasmine's family went home around 3:00 and Carl and I took a quick nap before we resumed preparations for his birthday dinner. We had chicken-pork adobo, pinakbet, fruit salad, cake, and some of our friends brought other desserts. We had friends over and we played board and card games. The house was REALLY loud for a Sunday afternoon! But we all had fun... the rockstar had a blast - and that's the most important thing. 

First Trimester Updates

As of today, I've been carrying our little baby for 13 weeks and 2 days. It seems like it was just yesterday that we learned we are finally having a baby. Its been an interesting past three months... some days are rougher than others. Nonetheless, everything that Carl and I have experienced these first couple of months of pregnancy assured us that we are actually becoming parents.

When we first learned I was pregnant, I had no pregnancy symptoms other than the missed period. Even after our first appointment with the doctor, I was feeling AMAZING! Until I woke up one morning when the smell of spam being fried made me puke... and then I ate dried fish with tomatoes and 2 cups of rice for lunch, but instead of going down to my stomach - all that went down the drain. And then I suddenly realized all I have been eating all week was Pancit Canton (similar to yakisoba). The days and nights of lost appetite and feeling hungry has begun. I didn't have a lot of cravings - but I had a lot of aversions. I did not even like RICE! I fed myself with crackers, fruits, and soups.

And so on our second meeting with the doctor, My weight was down from 154 to 144. If I wasn't pregnant, I would be elated that I've lost 10 lbs. Afterall, at 154 lbs I was 2 points over my ideal BMI. I wasn't obese but I was overweight which could be a problem down the road. But because I was pregnant, losing 10 lbs in a month wasn't a very good news - like I said in my previous post, it appears that I was sicker than the average pregnant woman. So my doctor gave me medication to help with the nausea which helps me keep my food down. We also heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time during our second appointment. It was an amazing sound to hear. It sounded like a train approaching the station. We were so excited we forgot to record it. The baby's heart was beating at 166 bpm - which was a very good number.

The weeks following that appointment, I did all I can to gain weight. The medicine helped, but not always. Some days I would still feel really sick, it came to a point I was extremely dehydrated I needed to get replenished through an IV. I spent 2 1/2 hours at the health center being fed intravenously. Two nurses had to help each other find a vein "needle worthy." My veins are thin to begin with, and being dehydrated made the vein search worse. I felt a lot better for a couple of days after that. That day I also weighed in and I lost another two and a half pounds. My weight has gone down to 141.5 lbs. It could be that I was just dehydrated that day, or I wasn't really making progress with my weight gain efforts.

My appetite has somehow returned, I guess. I've been able to eat rice. I've been eating donuts and cookies and other sweet stuff and I'm liking them. I've also started liking the sour gummy/chewy candies. This past week, all I wanted for dinner was pork adobo. I was hoping this would help me gain weight. Some nights were still rough, especially when I feel exhausted and/or I smell something I don't like.

Today, we went in for our third doctor's appointment. I'm officially past the first trimester. I weighed in at 142 lbs - a meager half lb heavier than last week. Still it wasn't a good sign. I've lost a total of 12 lbs during the course of 3 months. We are hopeful though that I would start feeling better since the first trimester is now behind us. Personally, I feel a lot better - except on those days when my guts wrenches in the bathroom. We heard the baby's heart beat again. It is beating at 155 bpm - and it was a lot stronger than the last. We could definitely hear it. It was like listening to horses stomping. We got to record it this time!

This pregnancy is getting more and more real. I can't believe that in a couple of weeks, we might be able to learn if baby cakes is a boy or a girl. The doctor said that based on the baby's heart tones, baby is VERY HEALTHY. Mommy is still a little sick, although she assured us that my condition is not a threat to the baby. Its something that we need to give attention to, though - because we still want both mommy and baby to be healthy.

That's it for now! Looking forward to more appetite and energy this coming weeks! And once the baby bump becomes more apparent and I don't like I'm just a fat lady (which I have been haha), we'll proudly show it to all of you!

Write my heart away

The last few months were spent writing and copy editing and proof-reading... and needless to say, I feel like I would do anything else except WRITE after all my thesis and projects are done. As of now, I am waiting for one final approval so I can send my thesis to the printer to get it hard-bound. I am also awaiting response (which I figure will be quite a long wait) from the editors at the Journal of Family Psychology to know if they've FINALLY accepted our paper for publication. I have two more research papers in the works, and I'll probably work on the publishable version of my thesis late this summer (when I gain some energy back). This is my life. So, today, instead of complaining, I will continue to write - about my real life. About what matters most.

I am going to be a mother in six months time. When I was 18, I told myself, by the time I'm 25 - I'll be a lawyer, have a husband, and at least one child. Now forget the lawyer part of the plan. Though it still lingers in my head. Once I've had the HUSBAND part of the equation, it didn't seem as important as it once was. I've chosen a different career path - one that I think is more compatible with the kind of family life I want to have. I want to be at home when my kids are at home. I want my lifestyle to sync with theirs - like my parents were to us. The academe - where I was born and raised, is the lifestyle I am most familiar with... And so that's what I've been doing for the past many years - preparing myself to be part of the academe for a very long time.

Time trickled and I am counting the days til I turn 25. Baby number 1 never arrived. Well, I guess he/she decided that he/she needed another year. My first child is on its way to my arms. I can't wait for that day to come. In my planner mindset, I would say it is long overdue. But in my humble heart, I praise God for giving me ample time to prepare. Even then, I wouldn't say I am completely ready to be a mother. But I know in my heart, there could no better time to have him/her than now.

I always wondered how and what its like to be a mother. I've seen my own mother, my friends, and my colleagues go about their motherly duties. As they say, there is no perfect recipe to motherhood. In practical terms, that is very true. There is no one way to raise a child. Surely, there are many ways to love.

I've been imagining what this baby is going to be like. Is he/she going to have fair complexion, short legs, round face, and pink cheeks? Or is he/she going to have curly hair, chinky eyes, and tiny lips? I can't be more excited to meet this person than the many times I daydreamed to meet the man I am going be with forever (no offense Carl). This baby is like a mysterious person who keeps me on the edge of my seat everyday for the next six months. As of today, this baby is no bigger than a lime. He/she might have some of those recognizable features but I wouldn't see them in quite a while.

Impatient as I am, I keep reminding myself that if I was able to wait this long to finally be able to grow a little human miracle in my body, six months is nothing... waiting for this little angel is a miracle, and it he/she is worth the wait.

you changed our lives in a moment

We are FINALLY having a BABY!!!

I could tell you the whole medical history of how we were finally able to conceive, but I guess it all boils down to Heavenly Father's decision to bless us with a very precious gift at this point in time.

Anyway, this is the story of how we learned we're finally going to be parents...

So I was expecting my time of the month on April 14th. It didn't come. I was under a lot of stress that week - with my thesis defense and graduation and family coming over. I almost didn't notice it was supposed to be that time of the month. The day before graduation, I remembered but I decided not to take a pregnancy test because, in case it turns out negative, I didn't want to be sad on graduation day. And then it was a very busy weekend with family being over. Sunday afternoon, I wanted some mangoes and so we went to Smith's. While there, I thought I might as well get a test kit. Turns out, they didn't have any. Who knew? I thought grocery stores usually have them. So we had to wait until Monday.

Monday night we went to Walgreens - they should have one or they might as well close. Then Carl said, "aren't you supposed to test first thing in the morning?" My reply was - "If I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant no matter what time of day!" It was around 8:30pm... and to the bathroom I went to pee on the magic stick.

Pee Stick #1

There was a line - a very faint line. Carl wasn't very convinced. I knew it was positive - I've been doing this for a while now and I know when there's no line and when there's something else. Still, we decided I'll test again.

Pee Stick #2

I didn't want to wait until the next morning. I tested again before we went to bed. The faint line was there again... It was faint but I was sure it was there. The faintness of the line didn't really make it a very convincing positive test. So we decided to go to the health center the next day to have another test.

Technically Pee Stick #3

So after two pee sticks and a lab test later, we scheduled an appointment with the OB-GYN. Our first appointment was on May 4th. Our doctor, Dr. Heather Dabling, was really nice. She confirmed my pregnancy, and guessed I was around 7 weeks based on my last period. Because I was on medication while trying to conceive, she advised us to get an early ultrasound just to confirm how far along I was and check if I was having multiples. We scheduled an ultrasound on May 10th.

Baby Canlas at 6wks4days in utero

And so on May 10th, I was only 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I wasn't as far along as we first thought I was.  The fetus was super super tiny, and for a split second I thought there was nothing in there. The ultrasound tech had to point out where it was. Of course, we couldn't hear the heartbeat yet because it was still very tiny. 

While my baby is tiny and I don't have a baby bump yet, I am feeling very pregnant. At first I thought I was one of those lucky ones who don't get nauseous and never throw up. I was wrong - Not only was I having morning sickness - I was sick most of the day. There were things I didn't want to smell (fried chicken, spam, bacon, cornedbeef hash, sausage, anything else fried, anything with tomato sauce). There were things I can eat, but not much (rice, pasta, potatoes). What have I been eating? Yellow mangoes, very ripe pineapples, grapes, peaches, bananas (not the very ripe ones), light soups, green salad, light sandwiches, boiled eggs, crackers, lemonade, sprite, plain bread, corn, certain vegetables but in small amounts. 

Weeks 7 and 8 were the worst so far. I simply couldn't keep anything down. Lately, it's been better... and the  all day sickness has become evening sickness. So sometimes i feel like I go to bed with an empty stomach. I try to munch on some crackers before I go to bed and it usually helps me through the night. Not surprisingly, I've lost some weight since I've been pregnant. Actually, some is an understatement - I've lost a lot - which was bad. I've lost 10 lbs since I've been pregnant which, according to my doctor, means I've been sicker than  the average pregnant woman. I'm getting help to deal with that and hopefully, I'll stop losing weight and start gaining. 

The baby though, is doing great. We heard his heartbeat today. I say HIS because Carl has a strong feeling this baby is going to be a boy. The baby's heart was beating at around 166 beats per minute - which is GREAT. It was the best sound I have ever heard in my whole life. I think I would never hear the sound of a train on its tracks the same way again. 

a little girl named Hailie

This is my youngest cousin, Hailie Grace. Her mom is my mom's youngest sister - who is 12 years older than me. I grew up feeling like she was my big sister - so when Hailie was born, I felt like she was my niece more than my cousin.

Anyway, Hailie is 3 but you wouldn't think she is. She's a talker, and she's quite a grown-up lady in her little body. I love love love her to pieces. I wish they lived closer to us - but her dad's job is tied in Texas - so unless her dad gets transferred to Utah, I would just have to settle to seeing her every once in a while.

Enjoy our Hailie - I think she's one of the prettiest little things alive :)

unedited acknowledgement

The day has arrived. And I couldn't have done it without the many people (and things) that helped me get to this special day. The acknowledgement page of my thesis is limited to one page only.... and that simply is not enough space for me to express all the gratitude that has filled my heart. This is, therefore, my acknowledgement - UNCUT.

I am grateful for all the blessing my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ has given me. Sometimes, I am not as appreciative of those blessings as I should, but the Lord's hands and His tender mercies has kept me going in all my endeavors. He is a God of miracles, and I have a strong testimony that I am engraved in his palms.

I am grateful to BYU. My journey to BYU was not easy, in fact, I almost did not get in. But through the grace of God, I came to BYU and started my advanced education. I decided to study family and human development. It is a social science of its own, with theoretical roots from psychology and sociology. Some people might think family life is plain common sense. I beg to differ. I believe in the long held sociological assumption that things are not always what they seem. The same applies to the family. Now, more than ever, we need to re-assess our understanding of the family as a microcosm of our society. I am blessed to be studying family science in BYU - where traditional family values are upheld. In a lot of ways, it gave me the moral ground which served as my perspective through all the theoretical and empirical assumptions that does not always sway toward the divine design of the family.

I am grateful to Dr. Rick Miller who served as my mentor and advisor. He is an amazing person. When I applied to the program, I did not have a preference as to which professor I wanted to work with. When I got accepted, I learned he picked me from the roster of accepted students - and working with him has been absolutely amazing. He's one heck of a smart guy, and yet he is a very down to earth never to brag person. He is a big person, both in physical stature and in his academic career - but his HEART is even bigger. He wasn't only my academic advisor - he was also a friend and a father. Without Rick, I would not have accomplished anything!

I am also thankful to Dr. Dean Busby and Dr. Jason Carroll. Dean helped me a lot with my methodologies. He, and a couple of other professors, are in charge of the RELATE Institute, where all the data I've ever used while in the program were gathered from. He is an amazing person, though some people are intimidated by him. He looks pretty intimidating, but his humor is just a little bit different and that's why some people don't get him. I took his methods class my first semester in graduate school - it was horrible in the beginning. I scored the lowest in the class during our first quiz in statistics. By the end of the semester, he told me I HAVE COME A LONG WAY and he was VERY IMPRESSED. With the grade that I received in that class, I was impressed of myself too. I've NEVER received a grade better than B in any of my research methods class - in Dean's class, I received an A-. Jason is my go to professor when I am having trouble with concepts. My background is in psychology and some sociology, but I am a newbie when it comes to applying sociological/psychological theories in family studies. But when I ask Jason anything, he can go on and on and on and on and by the end of it I feel like I've learned so much. When I consulted with him by the end of my first year in the program and told him my research directions for my thesis, he immediately asked if I would like him to be in my committee! That's how invested he was in my academic success. Without these two great men, I would have butted heads with Rick every time I sent in a draft of my manuscript.

Dr. Jason Carroll and Dr. Dean Busby

These two ladies are angels. La Rita made sure my contracts were updated and I got paid, my scholarship funds were always available, and my research related expenses were reimbursed. Shannon made sure my academic plan was in line - from deadlines to evaluations and books I need for teaching - She made sure I was covered. La Rita and Shannon made my graduate life a lot easier to handle.

Most of my time in graduate school was spent in the "lab." But I wasn't alone - I was in the company of amazing people who provided each other with academic, emotional, even spiritual support. We went through crazy data and models together, and made sense of statistical output together. Some days were crazy, but they became fun because we were in it together!

Of course, I am grateful for my family and friends. Without their prayers and support, it would have been a lot more challenging to get through school. I am lucky to have family who supports me in my pursuits, and to have friends who know when to pull me out of my rut. 

My parents were not able to come celebrate with us because my youngest sister's college graduation was the same day as mine, in the Philippines. But even in their absence, I know they feel how grateful I am for the great influence they have in my life.

congrats dear sister :)

Last but not the least, I am deeply grateful to one my eternal love - Carl. For everything he does for our family, and for the love that he has for me... I am the luckiest woman on earth.

one step closer

I started school in 1991 - I was 4 years old turning 5. My mom always told people how independent I was - never cried a single tear when they dropped me off my first day of school. I've loved school. It was like I was born and raised in the school system. My parents met in school when they were just barely starting their careers as professors. During my growing up years, I spent a lot of my time in school. Somehow, it rubbed on me... I've been a PROFESSIONAL STUDENT for 20 years -  and I am not quite done yet.

My masters program is almost done. I officially graduate in June 2012. Supposedly, I will graduate by the end of April. But I didn't make the deadlines for my thesis. My thesis is in the works all right - but graduate school has, in the words of my advisor, "ridiculous deadlines." I've spent countless hours reading, writing, reading, and writing again. I've had a couple of liters of soda and a couple of bags of doritos, wheat thins, and pita chips. I've almost memorized countless songs from my favorite Youtube playlists. In the end, I'll probably need a full week of sleeping (though I know that's quite impossible) to make up for the nights I didn't sleep.

And finally, I am defending my thesis on Monday, the 16th. It has been a crazy ride. I've learned a lot, about my field, my research interest, and my passion for cross-cultural understanding. Being in school is not as bad as it sounds. I believe it pays off somehow - in many different ways. As for me, I realized that I wanted to pursue the same career path my parents took almost 30 years ago. I want to be a professor too. I've seen how my parents changed the lives of young people whom they mentored. I've also seen how their profession has influenced the kind of life I have right now... And so I'd like to do that too - influence the lives of young people for good.

I am now one big step closer to that dream. I'll be staying in school for another three years - to earn my doctorate - just like my parents did. I know its going to be hard. I was a teenager when my parents earned their PhDs. It was old school then, and having your own electronic typewriter with automatic eraser was a lifesaver. Cut and paste was a literal thing. It was a lot of hard work and countless sleepless nights and sacrificial weekends. I've seen it first hand. So why am I doing it? Because I know it will pay off somehow.

I will have to confess that one of the few things I know I am really good at is being in school. I tried corporate life but it wasn't for me. I tried to juice out my brain with business ideas, but I simply couldn't execute. My mom always reminded me to focus on my strengths - and that's what I am going to do. What about family life? I think teaching is one of the most family-friendly careers out there. I am a product of it. As a child, my schedule was always in sync with my parents. Of course, there are trade-offs. But in the end, as I reflect on my own life, the rewards of having a career in the academe outweighs its costs.

So there - I am one big step closer to becoming the professor that I wish to become. And Carl is very supportive. Carl has his dreams too, and he is working hard to pursue those - for himself and for our family ... and I will be there for him too. After all, it takes two to tango.

Come Listen to the Prophets' Voice

We love general conference. There are a couple of things we love about it the most. First and foremost, we get to listen to the prophets and apostles and receive inspiration and personal revelation. Its a breath of fresh air and its like we get a break from the world. We receive comfort and at the admonition. The fact that we get to have general conference twice a year is a treat, especially in this busy world. We all need to feed our spirits, and general conferences weekend was indeed a feast.

A particular talk touched us deeply. In Elder Boyd K. Packer's address during the Saturday morning session of conference, he related an experience he had counseling a young couple who were told they would be unable to have children of their own. He told them that "their state was infinitely better than that of other couples who were capable of being parents but who rejected and selfishly avoided that responsibility." Elder Packer also reminded the couple that their desire to have children will "weigh heavily in your favor in [your] earthly lives and beyond" and that they are "better off because [you] wanted children and could not have them, as compared to those who could but would not have children." Most of you probably know that Carl and I are struggling with this issue. It was comforting to hear those words from Elder Packer. It strengthened and held us up, and gave us hope to look forward to the day when our children come.

Another thing we love about general conference is having friends over - a lot of friends! Its a time for reunions and reconnecting with people we haven't seen for a while. The California gang visited with us, this time with Liezel's family. We also got to hang out at the Catubay's and we sang and ate a lot. 

We look forward to next general conference - to get spiritual renewal and to rekindle precious bonds of friendship.