The last few months were spent writing and copy editing and proof-reading... and needless to say, I feel like I would do anything else except WRITE after all my thesis and projects are done. As of now, I am waiting for one final approval so I can send my thesis to the printer to get it hard-bound. I am also awaiting response (which I figure will be quite a long wait) from the editors at the Journal of Family Psychology to know if they've FINALLY accepted our paper for publication. I have two more research papers in the works, and I'll probably work on the publishable version of my thesis late this summer (when I gain some energy back). This is my life. So, today, instead of complaining, I will continue to write - about my real life. About what matters most.
I am going to be a mother in six months time. When I was 18, I told myself, by the time I'm 25 - I'll be a lawyer, have a husband, and at least one child. Now forget the lawyer part of the plan. Though it still lingers in my head. Once I've had the HUSBAND part of the equation, it didn't seem as important as it once was. I've chosen a different career path - one that I think is more compatible with the kind of family life I want to have. I want to be at home when my kids are at home. I want my lifestyle to sync with theirs - like my parents were to us. The academe - where I was born and raised, is the lifestyle I am most familiar with... And so that's what I've been doing for the past many years - preparing myself to be part of the academe for a very long time.
Time trickled and I am counting the days til I turn 25. Baby number 1 never arrived. Well, I guess he/she decided that he/she needed another year. My first child is on its way to my arms. I can't wait for that day to come. In my planner mindset, I would say it is long overdue. But in my humble heart, I praise God for giving me ample time to prepare. Even then, I wouldn't say I am completely ready to be a mother. But I know in my heart, there could no better time to have him/her than now.
I always wondered how and what its like to be a mother. I've seen my own mother, my friends, and my colleagues go about their motherly duties. As they say, there is no perfect recipe to motherhood. In practical terms, that is very true. There is no one way to raise a child. Surely, there are many ways to love.
I've been imagining what this baby is going to be like. Is he/she going to have fair complexion, short legs, round face, and pink cheeks? Or is he/she going to have curly hair, chinky eyes, and tiny lips? I can't be more excited to meet this person than the many times I daydreamed to meet the man I am going be with forever (no offense Carl). This baby is like a mysterious person who keeps me on the edge of my seat everyday for the next six months. As of today, this baby is no bigger than a lime. He/she might have some of those recognizable features but I wouldn't see them in quite a while.
Impatient as I am, I keep reminding myself that if I was able to wait this long to finally be able to grow a little human miracle in my body, six months is nothing... waiting for this little angel is a miracle, and it he/she is worth the wait.
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