December 28th
4:00 am. I woke up because I felt like my insides were
being pulled apart. The kind of uncomfortable sensation you feel when you are
having bad cramps during your period. I observed myself for 30 minutes, the
sensation would come and go, but I didn't time the intervals. I woke up my mom, and she told me to time it. The interval was around every 5 minutes. They weren't
very strong, but they were certainly uncomfortable. After an hour, she asked me
if I wanted to wake Carl up. I said I'd rather she didn't yet. I did not want
to cause a commotion - with everybody in the house, I didn't want a chaotic run
to the hospital.
6:00 am. The contractions (yes, this was when I decided
to call the uncomfortable sensation contractions) were getting stronger but
were still around 5 minutes apart. Still, I didn't tell Carl. This would be Carl's first day back at work after
the holidays, but he has to drop off his parents, his sister and her husband at
Jasmine's in Draper before heading to the office. I went to the bathroom and I had a bloody show. I told Carl I've been timing my
contractions, but I don't think its time to go the hospital yet. I told him not
to tell anyone yet, and I will call him when it is
DEFINITELY time. And so they left
7:30 am. I called Carl and told him we might have to go
to the hospital already. He might have to turn around and return
to Provo. He called again while I was in the shower and my mom convinced him to
turn around. Carl arrived home an hour later and we drove to the hospital
which was 10 minutes away from our place. It was bitterly cold outside. The
snow was almost knee deep and it started to snow
again.
9:00 am. We checked in at the Utah Valley Regional
Medical Center here in Provo and I was told to change
into the "glamorous" hospital gown and a nurse would soon be in to
check me. The nurse came in and put two monitors in my belly - one for the
baby's heart beat and one for my contractions. She checked how dilated I was -
I was dilated to 2.5 centimeters and 85% effaced. They monitored me for two
hours. When I had a contraction, I dilated to 3 centimeters. The nurse told me
I was in active labor, but it was still in the early stage and I was not
progressing fast. She decided to call Dr. Dabling at 11:00 am. Dr. Dabling gave
me two options. First, I can stay in the hospital and walk around there for
another hour so they can still monitor my labor's progress. Second, I can leave
the hospital and take walks somewhere else and they gave me an option to
receive morphine so I can tolerate the progressing pain - that way when the
pain overrides the morphine, I will know that I REALLY need to run back to the
hospital. Carl and I talked about our options and decided to take OPTION 2,
without the morphine. And so we were discharged at 11:30, we headed home and I
ate A LOT of pasta my mom made.
1:00 pm. I took a nap. Occasionally, I'd call Carl in to
the room so he could massage my back when my contractions were really strong
and painful. It wasn't really a full nap. My mom gave me a mani-pedi at around
3:00 pm. All the while we were on speakerphone with my aunt Jen who lives in
Texas. I was timing my contractions. I was getting worried because the interval
was averaging 7 minutes. Weren't they supposed to be getting closer to each
other?
5:00 pm. After dinner, I decided I was ready to take
walks. We went around the 2nd and 3rd
floors of the Wilkinson Center maybe 3 or 4 times, taking the stairs everytime! Everytime I descended the
stairs, I would get a contraction - a big strong awfully painful one. But, heck,
I went up and down and around the Wilk in the name of labor. I decided I was tired and ready to go home at around 7:00 pm. On
our way home, I changed my mind. I wanted to give walking another chance and so
we headed to the mall and walked for another hour. My contractions were
probably still 5 or 7 minutes apart. But they were growing stronger. We headed
home at around 8:00 pm.
9:00 pm. My mom went online to talk to my dad. I took
another shower. I asked for a bowl of beef ramen. My contractions were getting
really strong and they seemed to get closer together. I had to stop eating my
ramen everytime I had a contraction, I cannot even hold my bowl. I asked my dad
to pray. He wouldn't. He asked my mom to turn off the webcam because he
couldn't stand seeing me in pain. I went to our room and would stand and lean
over the wall everytime there was a contraction. BOY IT WAS AWFULLY PAINFUL, I
had to catch my breath everytime. I didn't have to time it, it was obvious that
I was having a contraction every 2 - 3 minutes. At around 9:30, I told Carl we
would head to the hospital at 10 pm if it gets worse. My mom hit the shower. We
started preparing to go to the hospital. I couldn't even dress myself or put on
my boots on my own because of pain. We left for the hospital at 5 minutes past
10. It was dark, cold, and slippery outside - and I had maybe 4 contractions on
our way to the hospital.
10:30 pm. We were back where we started almost 12 hours
ago. After check-in procedures, I was once again strapped with the monitors for
my contractions and for baby's heartbeat. The nurse asked me what my plans were
for pain management. I said I'd wait out the epidural and I'll ask for it when
I can't tolerate it anymore. I was 4 centimeters dilated 90% effaced with a
bulgy bag. I was formally ADMITTED. Note to self - I have been in labor for 18
hours. When she said I had a bulgy bag, I thought to myself, well maybe this
will be over in another 6 hours and I won't ask for the epidural after all.
December 29th.
1:00 am. My in-laws arrived. I only allowed my
mother-in-law to be in the room though. My father-in-law and Jasmine stayed at
the cafeteria (the whole time I was in labor). My mother-in-law reminded me the
breathing techniques to help with the pain. They were helpful for the most
part. I asked for my music to help me calm down. My mother-in-law tried to help
me visualize calming thoughts, but they didn't help very much. The music calmed
me down a little... but the pain was still strong. The nurse came in to check
me again. My legs were shaking after she examined me... I was 6 centimeters
dilated and was fully effaced. She asked me if I wanted the epidural. I said
not yet. Although, I was already debating in my head. Can I get through this without
any pain medication? I guessed it depends on how this is going to be. I asked
the nurse how long she thinks I am going to be in labor for. She said she had
no clue. Its been 22 hours. The pain was becoming more and more unbearable with
each contraction. I talked to Carl and we decided I'll ask for the epidural if
within the hour my dilation doesn't progress fast enough for me to convince
myself that I can go through the labor and delivery medication-free.
2:00 am. I rest my case. I told myself I am not coward by
asking for the epidural. I have told myself many times that my mother did it
three times and gave birth to huge babies and she came out of it alive. That
wasn't going to be my story at that point. Carl told the nurse I WANTED the
epidural. The anesthesiologist was in the room in no time. I thought I needed
to sit still but they just asked me to roll to my side and crunch myself like a
ball. Next thing I know, they were numbing my back, and the doctor was looking
for the right spot to insert that long needle for the epidural. This was the
time I removed my eyeglasses. Without my glasses, I am almost blind and can
only see silhouettes unless you are really near my sight. So I didn't see
anything they were doing to me from that point on. After receiving the
epidural, I started shaking - more shivering. I was told those were because of
the hormones. They inserted a catheter on me so I can pee without having to
stand up. I could still feel the pressure of each contraction but the pain was
gone. I wasn't yelling in pain anymore. I felt relieved. I felt like I did the
right thing.
4:00 am. I was 7 centimeters dilated and fully effaced.
Its been 24 hours! My bulgy bag did not break on its own. This was when we got
our first surprise - Dr. Dabling will not be the one to deliver my baby.Dr. Dabling was out of town and the doctor on call was Dr.
Glenn. So the call was directed to him. Not that we didn't want Dr. Glenn delivering my
baby, its just that we were expecting Dr. Dabling up to this point. Anyway, Dr. Glenn's first order of business was to have my water bag
broken hoping that that would hasten my progress. After an hour, I was dilated
to 7 centimeters. Dr. Glenn's next goal: determine how strong my contractions
were so he could decide whether or not I needed a dose of pitocin.
6:00 am. Two hours after my bag was broken, I only
progressed to 7.5 centimeters. Dr. Glenn told the nurse it was already
necessary to insert an intrauterine contraction monitoring device in me so that
they can determine how strong my contractions were and decide whether pitocin
will be helpful or not. I guess since I already had a catheter in, Carl was a
little bit apprehensive about another device being inserted in my body. But my
nurse patiently explained why it was necessary. And so they inserted the IUC
and based on the strength of my contractions, they gave me a dose of pitocin.
After that, I progressed a lot faster. Next thing I know, Dr. Glenn was in the
room and he was the one doing the internal exam. That was my cue - I know that
once the doctor enters the scene, the ordeal is almost over.
8:00 am (maybe). I haven't had much sleep and I felt hungry
and I was almost blind since I was not wearing my glasses so I wasn't really
sure what time it was. But I know it was morning already. Carl and our moms
already had breakfast. As for me, I've been having strawberry-coconut flavored
ice chips for the last 10 hours. Then came the 2nd surprise. Dr. Glenn
checked checked me and confirmed that my
baby was in a "sunny-side up." My little boy was in posterior
position meaning he was head down but was facing up. Based on Dr. Glenn's
assessment, including the baby's size and my pelvis's size, I might have to
prepare myself for a cesarean delivery. Its not impossible to deliver the baby
vaginally even if he was posterior, but it will be very difficult. Unlike
breach babies, doctors cannot turn posterior babies... the baby has turn around
himself. If he doesn't, Dr. Glenn might have to cut me open. At that point, I
will not say that I was afraid... but I had faith. I guess I had the most faith
than at any point in my life - that the baby will turn. I asked Carl for a
blessing and our moms said their silent prayers in their hearts. Carl and I
talked to our son, and we made our first request to our child that morning.
Soon after the nurses came into the room and they told me they will try to help
turn the baby. The rolled me on my side and lifted my other leg and I was to
assume that position for at least 30 minutes. They rolled me on the other side
30 minutes later. They told me doing that usually worked. I prayed in my heart that
it would. But I also prayed that if it wouldn't, Heavenly Father will help me
deliver the baby safely.
9:30 am. Dr. Glenn came back to the room. Another
internal exam. Surprise number 3 - but more so - a MIRACLE. I was 9 centimeters
dilated, and the baby has turned his head. Dr. Glenn told me I have a very
obedient little boy... and now it was time to PUSH. I can sort of see staff
wheeling in stuff in the room. I guess that was it. I started pushing at 10:00
am.
10:00 am. The nurse told me what to do - I had to crunch
up my legs, hold it, and push like I was letting go of a big hard poop when she
tells me push - and hold that push for 10 seconds at a time. We would do that
for every contraction. Carl was by my head and he was counting aloud for me. My
mom was helping me hold my one leg and my mother-in-law was on the other leg
with the nurse and they would alternate. By the way, the epidural was starting
to wear off. After an hour of pushing, it seemed like I wasn't pushing strong
enough for my boy to crown. Dr. Glenn ordered to turn off the epidural. Even
when he didn't, I was already feeling my legs anyway. Sometimes, I could push
really hard. Sometimes, I would almost lose my breath. But feeling everything
surely helped me push a little harder. Carl suddenly ran to the end of the bed
and yelled, "Hon, I can see his hair, I can see his hair!" That was
my signal to push harder. I knew I was bleeding a lot. The nurse would change
the pad every 5 contractions or so and I can see it soaked in blood. And then I
felt it - something hard was trying to get out of my body... I was so worried
I'd poop. I told my mom I felt like I needed to poop. She said, "nope,
that's the baby's head."
I've lost track of time. I was told to stop pushing until
the doctor tells me to push again. It seemed like forever for Dr. Glenn to
arrive in the room. Then Dr. Glenn was at the end of the bed and he told me he would have to do an episiotomy. Another doctor came in to give me some pain medication I guess for the episiotomy. Dr. Glenn told me to push real hard when he tells me to because
if I don't he might have to forcep Lorenz out of my body. I don't really know
how many times I had to push until this warm, bloody, huge little body was in
my chest. It was 12:31 pm. Lorenz is finally here. Dr. Glenn asked Carl if he
wanted to cut the baby's umbilical cord. Carl said yes... but I guess he got a
little nervous and asked Dr. Glenn to finish the job. I can sort of see Dr.
Glenn stitching me up, but I decided to look at the nurses cleaning up my baby.
They gave him back to me so I can hold him before they take him to the nursery
for further cleaning and for some newborn screening. I was holding our son -
Lorenz - he weighed 8 pounds 4.4 ounces and he was 21 inches long. He was
ours... he is finally here... it was the longest 32 hours of my life... but
when I held him in my arms - all the pain was gone, and I've never felt
stronger in my life.
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| Daddy, Lorenz, and Me... |
