First Trimester Updates

As of today, I've been carrying our little baby for 13 weeks and 2 days. It seems like it was just yesterday that we learned we are finally having a baby. Its been an interesting past three months... some days are rougher than others. Nonetheless, everything that Carl and I have experienced these first couple of months of pregnancy assured us that we are actually becoming parents.

When we first learned I was pregnant, I had no pregnancy symptoms other than the missed period. Even after our first appointment with the doctor, I was feeling AMAZING! Until I woke up one morning when the smell of spam being fried made me puke... and then I ate dried fish with tomatoes and 2 cups of rice for lunch, but instead of going down to my stomach - all that went down the drain. And then I suddenly realized all I have been eating all week was Pancit Canton (similar to yakisoba). The days and nights of lost appetite and feeling hungry has begun. I didn't have a lot of cravings - but I had a lot of aversions. I did not even like RICE! I fed myself with crackers, fruits, and soups.

And so on our second meeting with the doctor, My weight was down from 154 to 144. If I wasn't pregnant, I would be elated that I've lost 10 lbs. Afterall, at 154 lbs I was 2 points over my ideal BMI. I wasn't obese but I was overweight which could be a problem down the road. But because I was pregnant, losing 10 lbs in a month wasn't a very good news - like I said in my previous post, it appears that I was sicker than the average pregnant woman. So my doctor gave me medication to help with the nausea which helps me keep my food down. We also heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time during our second appointment. It was an amazing sound to hear. It sounded like a train approaching the station. We were so excited we forgot to record it. The baby's heart was beating at 166 bpm - which was a very good number.

The weeks following that appointment, I did all I can to gain weight. The medicine helped, but not always. Some days I would still feel really sick, it came to a point I was extremely dehydrated I needed to get replenished through an IV. I spent 2 1/2 hours at the health center being fed intravenously. Two nurses had to help each other find a vein "needle worthy." My veins are thin to begin with, and being dehydrated made the vein search worse. I felt a lot better for a couple of days after that. That day I also weighed in and I lost another two and a half pounds. My weight has gone down to 141.5 lbs. It could be that I was just dehydrated that day, or I wasn't really making progress with my weight gain efforts.

My appetite has somehow returned, I guess. I've been able to eat rice. I've been eating donuts and cookies and other sweet stuff and I'm liking them. I've also started liking the sour gummy/chewy candies. This past week, all I wanted for dinner was pork adobo. I was hoping this would help me gain weight. Some nights were still rough, especially when I feel exhausted and/or I smell something I don't like.

Today, we went in for our third doctor's appointment. I'm officially past the first trimester. I weighed in at 142 lbs - a meager half lb heavier than last week. Still it wasn't a good sign. I've lost a total of 12 lbs during the course of 3 months. We are hopeful though that I would start feeling better since the first trimester is now behind us. Personally, I feel a lot better - except on those days when my guts wrenches in the bathroom. We heard the baby's heart beat again. It is beating at 155 bpm - and it was a lot stronger than the last. We could definitely hear it. It was like listening to horses stomping. We got to record it this time!

This pregnancy is getting more and more real. I can't believe that in a couple of weeks, we might be able to learn if baby cakes is a boy or a girl. The doctor said that based on the baby's heart tones, baby is VERY HEALTHY. Mommy is still a little sick, although she assured us that my condition is not a threat to the baby. Its something that we need to give attention to, though - because we still want both mommy and baby to be healthy.

That's it for now! Looking forward to more appetite and energy this coming weeks! And once the baby bump becomes more apparent and I don't like I'm just a fat lady (which I have been haha), we'll proudly show it to all of you!

Write my heart away

The last few months were spent writing and copy editing and proof-reading... and needless to say, I feel like I would do anything else except WRITE after all my thesis and projects are done. As of now, I am waiting for one final approval so I can send my thesis to the printer to get it hard-bound. I am also awaiting response (which I figure will be quite a long wait) from the editors at the Journal of Family Psychology to know if they've FINALLY accepted our paper for publication. I have two more research papers in the works, and I'll probably work on the publishable version of my thesis late this summer (when I gain some energy back). This is my life. So, today, instead of complaining, I will continue to write - about my real life. About what matters most.

I am going to be a mother in six months time. When I was 18, I told myself, by the time I'm 25 - I'll be a lawyer, have a husband, and at least one child. Now forget the lawyer part of the plan. Though it still lingers in my head. Once I've had the HUSBAND part of the equation, it didn't seem as important as it once was. I've chosen a different career path - one that I think is more compatible with the kind of family life I want to have. I want to be at home when my kids are at home. I want my lifestyle to sync with theirs - like my parents were to us. The academe - where I was born and raised, is the lifestyle I am most familiar with... And so that's what I've been doing for the past many years - preparing myself to be part of the academe for a very long time.

Time trickled and I am counting the days til I turn 25. Baby number 1 never arrived. Well, I guess he/she decided that he/she needed another year. My first child is on its way to my arms. I can't wait for that day to come. In my planner mindset, I would say it is long overdue. But in my humble heart, I praise God for giving me ample time to prepare. Even then, I wouldn't say I am completely ready to be a mother. But I know in my heart, there could no better time to have him/her than now.

I always wondered how and what its like to be a mother. I've seen my own mother, my friends, and my colleagues go about their motherly duties. As they say, there is no perfect recipe to motherhood. In practical terms, that is very true. There is no one way to raise a child. Surely, there are many ways to love.

I've been imagining what this baby is going to be like. Is he/she going to have fair complexion, short legs, round face, and pink cheeks? Or is he/she going to have curly hair, chinky eyes, and tiny lips? I can't be more excited to meet this person than the many times I daydreamed to meet the man I am going be with forever (no offense Carl). This baby is like a mysterious person who keeps me on the edge of my seat everyday for the next six months. As of today, this baby is no bigger than a lime. He/she might have some of those recognizable features but I wouldn't see them in quite a while.

Impatient as I am, I keep reminding myself that if I was able to wait this long to finally be able to grow a little human miracle in my body, six months is nothing... waiting for this little angel is a miracle, and it he/she is worth the wait.

you changed our lives in a moment

We are FINALLY having a BABY!!!

I could tell you the whole medical history of how we were finally able to conceive, but I guess it all boils down to Heavenly Father's decision to bless us with a very precious gift at this point in time.

Anyway, this is the story of how we learned we're finally going to be parents...

So I was expecting my time of the month on April 14th. It didn't come. I was under a lot of stress that week - with my thesis defense and graduation and family coming over. I almost didn't notice it was supposed to be that time of the month. The day before graduation, I remembered but I decided not to take a pregnancy test because, in case it turns out negative, I didn't want to be sad on graduation day. And then it was a very busy weekend with family being over. Sunday afternoon, I wanted some mangoes and so we went to Smith's. While there, I thought I might as well get a test kit. Turns out, they didn't have any. Who knew? I thought grocery stores usually have them. So we had to wait until Monday.

Monday night we went to Walgreens - they should have one or they might as well close. Then Carl said, "aren't you supposed to test first thing in the morning?" My reply was - "If I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant no matter what time of day!" It was around 8:30pm... and to the bathroom I went to pee on the magic stick.

Pee Stick #1

There was a line - a very faint line. Carl wasn't very convinced. I knew it was positive - I've been doing this for a while now and I know when there's no line and when there's something else. Still, we decided I'll test again.

Pee Stick #2

I didn't want to wait until the next morning. I tested again before we went to bed. The faint line was there again... It was faint but I was sure it was there. The faintness of the line didn't really make it a very convincing positive test. So we decided to go to the health center the next day to have another test.

Technically Pee Stick #3

So after two pee sticks and a lab test later, we scheduled an appointment with the OB-GYN. Our first appointment was on May 4th. Our doctor, Dr. Heather Dabling, was really nice. She confirmed my pregnancy, and guessed I was around 7 weeks based on my last period. Because I was on medication while trying to conceive, she advised us to get an early ultrasound just to confirm how far along I was and check if I was having multiples. We scheduled an ultrasound on May 10th.

Baby Canlas at 6wks4days in utero

And so on May 10th, I was only 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I wasn't as far along as we first thought I was.  The fetus was super super tiny, and for a split second I thought there was nothing in there. The ultrasound tech had to point out where it was. Of course, we couldn't hear the heartbeat yet because it was still very tiny. 

While my baby is tiny and I don't have a baby bump yet, I am feeling very pregnant. At first I thought I was one of those lucky ones who don't get nauseous and never throw up. I was wrong - Not only was I having morning sickness - I was sick most of the day. There were things I didn't want to smell (fried chicken, spam, bacon, cornedbeef hash, sausage, anything else fried, anything with tomato sauce). There were things I can eat, but not much (rice, pasta, potatoes). What have I been eating? Yellow mangoes, very ripe pineapples, grapes, peaches, bananas (not the very ripe ones), light soups, green salad, light sandwiches, boiled eggs, crackers, lemonade, sprite, plain bread, corn, certain vegetables but in small amounts. 

Weeks 7 and 8 were the worst so far. I simply couldn't keep anything down. Lately, it's been better... and the  all day sickness has become evening sickness. So sometimes i feel like I go to bed with an empty stomach. I try to munch on some crackers before I go to bed and it usually helps me through the night. Not surprisingly, I've lost some weight since I've been pregnant. Actually, some is an understatement - I've lost a lot - which was bad. I've lost 10 lbs since I've been pregnant which, according to my doctor, means I've been sicker than  the average pregnant woman. I'm getting help to deal with that and hopefully, I'll stop losing weight and start gaining. 

The baby though, is doing great. We heard his heartbeat today. I say HIS because Carl has a strong feeling this baby is going to be a boy. The baby's heart was beating at around 166 beats per minute - which is GREAT. It was the best sound I have ever heard in my whole life. I think I would never hear the sound of a train on its tracks the same way again.